Gigs


28/04/02 Sunday Forum Tunbridge Wells Im(m)une Half inch Heroes AV Out Flying Marrows
04/05/02 Saturday Lord Kitchener Public House Welling Half inch Heroes (Drunken Song)
19/05/02 Sunday Courthouse Dartford Forty Odd Yards Half inch Heroes
28/05/02 Tuesday Forum Tunbridge Wells Mr Shiraz Hiding With Girls Im(m)une Half inch Heroes
31/05/02 Friday Red Lion North Fleet My Dad Is Big Half inch Heroes
04/06/02 Tuesday Forum Tunbridge Wells Mumm Ra Half inch Heroes Drag Sequana
01/07/02 Monday Conservative Club Dartford Giant Spiders Half inch Heroes Second Hand Ferrets
12/07/02 Friday Forum Tunbridge Wells Half inch Heroes Awkward Thought
25/07/02 Thursday New Eltham Half inch Heroes Oasis Tribute
27/07/02 Saturday Sound Leister Square Gran Casa Spankboy Fat Wah Foot Long Heroes Half inch Heroes Forty Odd Yards
04/10/02 Friday Forum Tunbridge Wells Lightyear No Comply Southpaw Half inch Heroes Sequana
16/12/02 Monday Forum Tunbridge Wells Half inch Heroes Dufuz Martin
20/12/02 Friday Kings Head Fulham No-Where Fast Half inch Heroes SLD
05/04/03 Saturday Tunbridge Wells Forum, Half inch Heroes, Howards Alias, Jesse James
10/07/03 Thursday Beacon Court Tavern, The Meek, Half inch Heroes, Low Side
15/08/03 Friday Tunbridge Wells Forum, Uncle Brian, Flying Marrows, Half Inch Heroes, Onslow, Relvis Troll
16/08/03 Saturday Broadstairs Bandstand, The Labels, Half Inch Heroes, The Lines, Astronaut, FaTaLiSt
01/9/03 Monday THE VERGE Kentish Town, Colonel Mustard, Mumrah, Junior Asthma Club, Mr. Exhaust, Half Inch Heroes, Holly Escapes, Running to Nothing
06/09/03 Saturday Sevenoaks Stag Theatre, Half Inch Heroes
15/09/03 Monday CARTOON CLUB, Croydon with Onslow and the Labels
30/12/03 CARTOON CLUB, Croydon with Retakes, Slag Munky and From Grace

Gig Diaries
Tuesday 28th May 2002 - Forum, Tunbridge Wells

After having managed to negotiate myself out of an exam three hours early, I managed to make it to soundcheck for about half four only to find it totally empty. Hmmm ok! Well in all seriousness I didn’t expect a band with such status as Mr Shiraz to actually be there on time. Plenty of time to sit around
eat crap and generally piss about. When no one else had turned up by about 5 o’clock we decided to take a mass trip up to the local Safeways and max out on Jammie Dodgers.

Yet more time to waste. People from the other bands had actually turned up by the time we returned so there was equipment absolutely everywhere and loads of random people, difficult to tell who was from which band, apart from a select few, who were blatantly from Mr Shiraz.

Mr Shiraz eventually soundchecked, starting I think about an hour and a half later than planned, by which time it was 6:15 and there were still three bands to go. Hmph! For once Half inch Heroes were silent. Stunned into silence by the band before them. Mr Shiraz were AMAZING ... then realisation hit - we were about to play infront of them. Oh pooh! We were scared. Very scared! Half inch Heroes watched on in aura.

Mr Shiraz continued to provide entertainment off stage. And they proved to be very much the same mentality as the Half inch Heroes ... absolutely off their fucking trolleys! Picture this; a drummer, built like a brick shit house, climbing a ladder, without it resting against anything. Yup, you read that correctly. A free standing ladder, being climbed. Highly amusing it must be said! Then came the “haha let’s pick on the smallest member of the band� - they wrapped the trumpet player, Ash up in their banner and then pulled one end to unravel him. Dizzy, you woulda been!

Due to traditional Forum soundchecks and late bands, we didn’t get a soundcheck as such. Just about enough time to go “aah fuck we don’t have any amps� and ask around and then get all our instruments on stage! We played through one song, Drunken Song I think, played it atrociously and then got told that our soundcheck had to end there. Doors were about to be opened.

Not that there was anyone there to open the doors to. It was as dead as a dodo. There was no-one. Well a few, a very few. With the realisation that there were going to be no more people we all headed back stage and prepared to play. Jammie Dodgers at the ready! Out onto the stage to face a crowd of Mr Shiraz and a few others, it seemed. Mike and Ross kicked off with a prosing Blues Brothers intro, 1-2-1-2-3-AAHHH...no no no STOP! Second Opinion all went tits up. Riley’s amp get randomly blasting out noise, my amp wasn’t even turned on and then it had some freaky shit echo. No no no no no no NO! So we started again. Yes, we actually stopped ourselves from sounding shit, started again and sounded equally as shit. No, not really. We played ok.

The set went reasonably ok; intro, Second Opinion, Drunken Song, Imperfections, Forever Late, Jammie Dodgers, Rooobarb, Skank Wit Me. Jammie Dodgers was dedicated to Mr Shiraz. And how they liked that. Well Mike Shiraz at least! One of Mr Shiraz legged it when the Jammie Dodgers were lobbed in his direction but the rest of the band were happy to throw them back at us, catch them, eat them, stamp on them and do whatever else they dared! It was thirty second of complete pandemonium but it was all good. Rooobarb kinda went squew whiff, but then we hadn’t really worked it all out so hey shit happens! Skank Wit Me went kinda out of time, just for a change! Phew! Set over.

A few beers later, after having started possibly the smallest pit in the world through Im(m)une’s set and while Hiding With Girls were playing we found out just how good Mr Shiraz were. Not only had they proved to be a damn sight better than us plus infinity and ten during soundcheck, but there flyer told us more. Not only had they played at various London venues, but were to be playing at Glastonbury before going on a European tour. O H M Y G O D!!! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! Shhhiiiiiiiiitttt! Nervous laughter kicked in - we’d thrown Jammie Dodgers at Mr Shiraz. MWAHAHAHAHAhahahaha oh FUCK!

As you can imagine, by the time Mr Shiraz came to play we were all pretty hyped up. Consequently all went nucking futs and the night ended with the Half inch Heroes bundling Ash and Chris from Mr Shiraz on stage during their final song. SO KEWL!


Sunday 19th May 2002 - Courthouse, Dartford

Talk about last minute arrangements! The gig was confirmed on the Friday before, which gave us less than 48 preparation time but hey! who in their right mind turns down a gig?! Not the Half inch Heroes anyway. Following several very haphazard arrangements we all met at the Courthouse pub in Dartford not really having a clue what the hell was going on. Pacey had managed to get hold of a PA system from Orpington somewhere and all we had to do was set it up ... mwahahaha! That provided some quality entertainment ... the deafening feedback certainly woke the people in the pub up and gave them some idea of what was to come. It wasn’t until the other band turned up that we really knew who we were supporting. It turned out to be Forty Odd Yards, a punk band.

Gradually the punters began to fill the pub, not that we had actually noticed because we were too busy playing around with amp, mics and PA systems trying to soundcheck everything. After a disastrous rendition of Drunken Song we decided that everything was ok, equipment-wise at least! We had be given instructions by the pub not to go on until the football had finished, why we were not quite sure but hey! Time for Half inch Heroes tomfoolery ...

Outside the pub, in the middle of Dartford amongst the pikeys (oh so many!), we had time for group shots, bundles and general fuck abouts. It was true pre gig behaviour (well if the Tunbridge Wells Forum gig was anything to go by!) The highlight of the evening had to be when Pacey ran into the wall of the Courthouse with Ross sitting on his shoulders ... all in all a highly amusing, completely dumbass act! Time for one more people pile (as the photographer from the Forum gig put it!) before hitting the ‘stage’.

It wasn’t strictly a stage, more an enclosed area in the pub, but who’s complaining? The pub had filled up quite dramatically from when we first turned up only to find the barman and one drinker ... hmmm!

We were ready ... straight into the Peter Gunn Theme intro - it caught people’s attention if nothing else. Then unexpectedly Mike went into a sax solo, a funky sax solo, before launching into Second Opinion. Second Opinion ... what a song, and how many times have we played it?! Answer ... TOO MANY! If we ever get that song wrong I think we should all quit the band! Or not. The set was the same as at the Forum only this time we had the addition of Rooobarb before Skank Wit Me. Highly amusing ... seen as we had only finished it, ish, on the Thursday before at band practise. What the hell, it was another song (for which Sharpey had to get the words ... hehehe!) And this time Riley had all his strings for Forever Late so there was no crazy unheard riff in the middle! You go doode! Oh yeh, and there were no Jammie Dodgers ... the song was there but we didn’t think the pub would approve of us lobbing them at the punters. We’ll have to save that for the proper gig venues! You have been warned!

Before we knew it the set was over, finished, the end ... or so we thought. Sharpey then introduced Second Opinion for the second time - why exactly none of us are really sure but hey. My guitar failed to work through any of it and I was highly amused by Riley who looked really distraught by his bleeding finger!

No-one seemed to be on as much as a high as they were after the Forum gig but that was understandable ... you could hardly expect a skank pit in a pub (or could you?!) Musically I think we were a lot better ... our timing had improved, we knew the songs better (apart from Rooobarb) and to be honest we treated this gig more as another practise in preparation for Mr. Shiraz on the 28th May ... what a gig that is going to be!



Sunday 28th April 2002 - Tunbridge Wells Forum

It all started in true Half Inch Heroes madness - we are about as disorganised as you can get. We all finally got together at about 2:30 - half an hour later than originally arranged but as the saying goes "better late than never" … plus the Jagger Centre hadn't yet been opened. Plenty of time to bundle the whole band into Goc's car (we were ok so long as we managed to keep Pacey away from the handbrake - failed!)

Once inside the Jagger Centre we ran around like headless chickens gathering equipment and had just enough time to go through the set once before having to leave for the soundcheck. To be honest, we sounded pretty terrible and the thought of playing in front of an audience had immense cringe factor. I just blame it in the acoustics of the Jagger Centre and shit equipment (which is a hell of a lot better than the non-existent equipment owned by the band!)

We arrived at the Tunbridge Wells at about 16:45 … a whole fifteen minutes earlier than we were due (what's going on?!) Luckily people were already there so the sound check could commence. In true Forum style, sound check started an hour later than they had said. A big "spank you" to Lawrence the sound doode, who sorted us all out. Couldn't have done it without him …

While we were waiting to be sound checked we had plenty of time to graffiti "HiH" tattoos in black marker pen on people's arms (do you think I can get it off … NO!!!), indulge in Jammie Dodgers, spray paint Half Inch Heroes 'tags' on the wall backstage and generally make an arse of ourselves in front of the photographer.

The soundcheck was just as I had expected … controlled mania! People being randomly 'musical' and drowning out all the instructions from the sound guy who was desperately trying to sort us out (we were running out of time and the doors were soon to be opened … and still AV Out and the Flying Marrows to soundcheck). We played through a couple of songs (that'll be most of the set then!) and I must say we sounded pretty good. It was nice to have escaped the echoey shitholeness of M2 (the music room at DGS for those of you who haven't been fortunate enough to have experienced it .. .mwhahaha!) I wasn't nervous, and neither was Sharpey from what I could gather. An excitement and adrenaline rush all plowed into one ran through me … I was ready … I was hyped up … and SO looking forward to it!

While AV Out and the Flying Marrows soundchecked the rest f us chilled backstage - chilled in the sense of skittle (WOAAHH!!), group bundles and general rowdy behaviour (my apologies to Immune at this point for scaring the pants off them!)

Before we knew it the doors had opened and the Forum filled. Half of me was pumped on adrenaline and the other half didn't believe it was happening. I can honestly say that I did not feel nervous any point - just damn right excited and looking forward to it. Mike on the other hand looked a nice icky shade of green (a similar shade to his hair perhaps - hehe sorry Mike!) It was nice to see so many familiar faces; people who had come to support/witness/endure our first gig. A thank you to all those who promoted the Half Inch Heroes with their home made t-shirts … much appreciated people!

The Flying Marrows, an acoustic duo, opened the evening. Regular players at the Tunbridge Wells Forum, it was clear that the Marrows were more than relaxed on stage. With a tight, well rehearsed set they would be a hard act to follow. AV Out came next. Again an impressive set, very enjoyable although I don't think Mike will remember much of it due to his power struggle with his nerves about opening the set. AV Out finished their set, which could only mean one thing … Half Inch Heroes were up next. Woooaaaahhhh!!!

The crowd seemed to push forward. From back stage you could hear various shouts directed at us. It was nice to have the support, even before we got on stage! Whenever a member of the band walked on stage the crowd would cheer. Calm down calm down, we were only getting ready!!! Due to the opening of what seemed like a million Jammie Dodger packets, Mike managed to be the last one on stage - quite ironic considering he was the one opening the set!!! Someone in the crowd noticed that we were drummer less … ah ha!!! Little did they know that Rob "Animal" Prestage was to stroll through the crowd, grab the drum sticks from the bell of Mike's sax and drum us into Second Opinion … "ARGH!"

We were off! The crowd went mad. I was conscious of the manic grin spread across my face but it wouldn't stop! As far as I could see into the Forum people were skanking, moshing and generally enjoying the music. It was a much better reception than I could ever have wished for. Various fuck ups later (and me, there were quite a few!) the gig still seemed to be going remarkably well. We covered the mishaps as best we could, the crowd continued to be energetic and my grin grew (not that I thought it was humanly possible at the time!) There were people in front of me, skanking, cheering, clapping … to OUR music! It was fantastic. I still can't quite believe it now!

Before we knew it, it was over … finished … "Skank wit me" had come to the end, we said our thank yous and goodbyes and were making our way backstage before we could say "biggit up!" There was a certain buzz oozing from every band member which none of us could contain. "WOOOOAHHRRRR!" The beers were cracked open, we were all on a high and determined to party. Several bundles, hugs and alcomoholic beverages later we were out from backstage to watch Immune. Meanwhile being complimented by many of the audience. Immune were amazing … bloody nice blokes too. A great band, their set amazing … the perfect ending to a fantastic night.

That was it. Over. Finished. The end of our first gig. It felt like a dream. The best dream I have ever had. After saying our final goodbyes to the Flying Marrows, AV Out and Immune we all convoyed back to Pacey's house for celebrations … champagne, general hypernwss and the chance to watch the set again on video (courtesy of Pacey's 'rents).

All in all, a shit hot night!

Goc ©